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Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (1355 bytes)
Posted: 3/3/2005 07:24 GMT+8
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By:
Dugong Chino
registered: 1/11/2003
member
Philippines
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Not meaning to scare those who are looking forward to marrying their foreign born (mostly White American or White European male)!! This story is very real and I don't want anyone pretending that this is something that could not happen to them. Please note that most, NOT ALL!!, foreigners wanting to marry Pinays are THOSE WHO CAN'T GET ALONG WITH THEIR KINDS!! Many, NOT ALL, have fantasies of the subservient Pinays, who are out there to serve them hand and foot. Many end up beating or at worst murdering their Pinay wives because of disillusionment!!!
SA MGA PINAYS.. DI LAHAT PO!!! MANGILAN-NGILAN LANG.. PERO ingat lang mga kababayan!!!
MURDER IN NETHERLANDS
Missing for 4 years, Filipina comes home in a coffin
Posted 05:25am (Mla time) Mar 03, 2005
By Jerome Aning
Inquirer News Service
FOUR years after being reported missing in the Netherlands, Veneranda "Bebe" Paρa will return home to the Philippines -- in a coffin.
The suspect in her murder was no less than her Dutch husband Edwin Terwinkle, who was recently arrested by authorities. He also had confessed to hiding her body under the living room of his twin brother Elmer's home in Eindhoven, North Brabant province.
Paρa's family in her native town of Badian in Cebu province wanted the Philippine government to pursue the case until Terwinkle is convicted.
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (917 bytes)
Posted: 3/3/2005 14:42 GMT+8
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By:
philipperv
registered: 10/10/2002
member
Ormoc, Philippines
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Dugong, after reading many of your posts you generally seem to be an educated guy but you really got this one wrong. Foreign men come to the Philippines for wives not because they can't get along "with their own kind" but because their "kind" is not worth getting along WITH.
Western women are self-centered, money-hungry bitc***! The only reason that there aren't about 50 MILLION western men coming here every year to marry Filipinas is because feminists in western countries continue to work overtime helping to warp western society so that the men there feel resigned to the fact that they will have to marry one of these bitc*** until she gets tired of him and then gets a quick divorce.
Of course, there are good and bad people in every country but decent women in western society are about 1 in 20 or fewer. You obviously haven't travelled abroad to a western country but that is to your credit. 
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (1046 bytes)
Posted: 3/5/2005 01:07 GMT+8
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Quote-reply
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By:
Dugong Chino
registered: 1/11/2003
member
Philippines
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philipperv,
Contrary to what you said, I am a well travelled person. I've been to the US many times, and probably a lot more than you've been to the Philippines. I have also been to Europe 5 times, to Japan 6 times, Singapore 3 times, Vietnam - countless times, so with Thailand, Camboia, Laos, Hongkong, Taiwan, All over the South Pacific including Kwajalein, Ponape, Yap, Palau, Wake Islands, American Samoa, etc.
You said it yourself, but in a different perspective and a lot less blunt than the way I have written it. White men come here because they find their kind unpalatable. And then, SOME (note not all), get disillusioned when they find out that Pinays are not really that far off from Western women and either end up divorcing them, or KILLING them like the one I portrayed here.
This doesn't say that you are one of them. But some of your kind do!! And this doesn't say that Filipinos don't kill their wives either!!
All I want to say is that marrying Westerners is not as rosy as many of our Filipinas think it is!!
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (832 bytes)
Posted: 3/5/2005 23:58 GMT+8
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Quote-reply
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By:
philipperv
registered: 10/10/2002
member
Ormoc, Philippines
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After living here continuously for the last 5 1/2 years and 9 years overall, I really don't feel that ordinary Filipinas strive to meet foreigners for marriage. Please keep in mind that I work around several Filipinas everday and have done so for a while now.
You may be mixing up the perception of GROs and internet hustlers with ordinary girls. However, if you are kind, caring and "sweet" to any girl here she will latch on to you no matter what. That is the main distinction I was trying to make before between western women and Filipinas. If you are nice to most western women they will interpret it as a weakness on your part and try to use it against you.
Yes, there are wife-beaters and wife-killers in every society but I think that you were generalizing one unfortunate case to cast a bad light on all foreign men.
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (1533 bytes)
Posted: 3/7/2005 14:52 GMT+8
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Quote-reply
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By:
Dugong Chino
registered: 1/11/2003
member
Philippines
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philipperv,
On the other hand, you are the one generalizing things between Filipinas and foreign men. A good majority of "ordinary" Filipinas won't even entertain marrying other than their own kind. On the contrary, most Filipinas, who marry "foreigners" (be it American, European, Japanese, or whatever) either work in bars, or GROs. Very seldom do you meet well educated Filipinas who want to marry foreigners.
And working around several Filipinas everyday in your last 9 years doesn't make you an expert on Filipino mentality and traditions.
I have met many American women in my trips to the United States and I don't find them any different than our own Filipinas here. That is if I would compare an educated Filipino girl with that of an educated American girl. If we compare trash Filipinas with trash American girls, then probably the trashy American girl beats the Filipinas hands down.
I can't help but notice that many, and again NOT ALL, American men who come here to fish for their wives are either over 55, washed out, and have been through one or several divorces in their home country.
And finally, if you read my original post carefully, you'd see that I was careful to say "not all", but beware anyway.
If I offend your sensibility in any way, then my apologies. Otherwise I am merely trying to call the attention of those Filipinas who are considering marrying foreigners for whatever reason (not for love I'm sure for about 90% of them), and to let them know that these things really happen!!
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (649 bytes)
Posted: 3/7/2005 19:40 GMT+8
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By:
kahlil
registered: 2/28/2005
member
Philippines
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I have nothing against inter racial marriage as long as the reason is the feelings mutually shared. However, I think the illussion (though for others it is real) that first world people could elevate their poverty stricken life in this country, is kind of dangerous. Many women Filipina instead of developing their potentials have become domesticated. Typical wife and housemaid.
Lucky for those who found happiness with their foreign husbands but...what about those battered, detained, emotionally tortured and even killed Filipinas?
I hope Filipinas would be careful too and those who wish to find a joe hubby...good luck and take care.
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (1073 bytes)
Posted: 3/7/2005 21:38 GMT+8
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Quote-reply
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By:
philipperv
registered: 10/10/2002
member
Ormoc, Philippines
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On the contrary, most Filipinas, who marry "foreigners" (be it American, European, Japanese, or whatever) either work in bars, or GROs. Very seldom do you meet well educated Filipinas who want to marry foreigners.
With this Statement you have adequately shown your ignorance and bias against, or is it jealousy? of decent Filipinas who marry non-Filipinos. I have met more than several university-educated women here that are happily married to non-Filipinos including my own wife.
I don't know, it could be that you just like to argue and will take any contrary position. Doesn't change reality and you will never be able to convince anyone that you are correct especially when you argue that Filipinas are the same as western women. People that have actually lived abroad will see right through you.
The only problem is that Filipino women who emigrate abroad tend to adjust too easily to their new environment and that could be a problem to their relationships. After all, there isn't a 60% divorce rate there for nothing. Hope i didn't offend you too much now.
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (1878 bytes)
Posted: 3/8/2005 02:05 GMT+8
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Quote-reply
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By:
Dugong Chino
registered: 1/11/2003
member
Philippines
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Here's a recent study commissioned by the US INS (name changed now) concerning potential abuse to foreign wives of American men: The study was done during the decade of the 90s but still speaks for the current trend in the US.
".......Abuse
According to "The Health Care Response to Domestic Violence" (anon. 1994), "Within the last year 7 percent of American women (3.9 million) who are married or are living with someone as a couple were physically abused, and 37 percent (20.7 million) were verbally or emotionally abused by their spouse or partner."
While no national figures exist on abuse of alien wives, there is every reason to believe that the incidence is higher in this population than for the nation as a whole.
Authorities agree that abuse in these marriages can be expected based on the men's desire for a submissive wife and the women's desire for a better life. At some point, after the alien bride has had time to adjust to the new environment, to make new friends, and to become comfortable with the language, her new independence and his domination are bound to conflict. The problem, according to Mila Glodava (Glodava and Onizuka, 1994) and Uma Narayan (Narayan, 1995), is largely due to the men's unrealistic expectations. While many state a desire for a submissive wife, they find that such dependence becomes a burden. To provide some relief, the husband seeks ways (friends, activities) that will get the wife "out of the house" on occasion. The resulting independence then angers the husband who manifests the anger on the wife, who may have only been guilty of trying to please her husband."
This is very very true. Once the Filipina wife adjusts to the new surroundings i.e. "freedom", "shopping", "CREDIT CARDS", "American Friends", etc. They become- guess what? - AMERICAN GIRLS!!!! And that's where the conflict begins.
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (7513 bytes)
Posted: 3/8/2005 02:09 GMT+8
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Quote-reply
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By:
Dugong Chino
registered: 1/11/2003
member
Philippines
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It's not that I am starting a crusade against Filipinas marrying foreigners, but someone has to make this part of a "wake up call".
If I offend any foreigner married to Filipinas, who happen to enjoy a fruitfull and happy marriage, I say cheers to you and keep it up.
These articles are for those who may end up like this:
Domestic violence and Filipina women in Australia
By Anthony Brown
Seventeen Filipina women and four children have died violently in Australia since 1980. In most cases, their Australian partners were implicated.
A national Filipina women's organisation, the Centre for Philippine Concerns Australia (CPCA), believes the deaths are related to the high incidence of domestic violence in Filipina- Australian marriages and to the myth that Asian women are sexually willing and submissive.
The CPCA is calling on the federal government to establish an inquiry into the deaths and the related issue of domestic violence. It believes that women who meet Australian men through introduction agencies or correspondence are most at risk.
A Brisbane-based CPCA researcher believes Filipina women enter into relationships with men they hardly know because they want to escape the poverty in the Philippines and to help their families.
A 1992 study found an increasing number of Australian men were serial sponsors of Filipina women -- these are men who repeatedly sponsor women. The study found a high rate of violence in these relationships.
Although out for two years, none of the report's recommendations have been implemented -- much to the concern of Filipino social workers in Australia.
Husbands who murder
In the early hours of April 4, 1993, unemployed plumber Bruce Hughes broke into his estranged Filipina partner Mila Borador Mills' Morningside unit and attacked her in her bedroom with a block of wood.
Hughes, 38, and Mila, 36, had separated the November before after an 18-month relationship.
When police later found Mila, they initially thought from the amount of blood and the state of her body that she was the victim of a frenzied knife attack.
She died without regaining consciousness the day after the attack at Brisbane's Princess Alexandra Hospital. Hughes is currently serving a life sentence for her murder.
Since Mila's death, two other Filipinas have been killed. One died in a suspicious house fire. The other, who was pregnant, was strangled and her body dumped in a gully. Since Mila's death, three other women are listed as missing; they are all feared dead.
Four children born to Filipina women in Australia have also been killed since 1980: an 11-month-old baby girl was bashed with a hammer, two girls were strangled, and one child died in a house fire with his mother.
In nearly all the deaths and the disappearances, the Australian spouses and fathers were implicated. Five men are currently serving prison sentences for the murder or manslaughter of their Filipina partners.
One man is serving a 12-year sentence for the manslaughter of his two children.
Two other men have had their cases dropped due to lack of evidence.
Another man has been charged with his wife's murder; his case is due for trial soon.
Two men died with their partners in a double suicide-murder pact, and one man jumped off a cliff after bashing his baby daughter to death.
Joseph Sokol, 40, from Blacktown in NSW was convicted in 1987 of the murder of his 17-year old Filipina bride, Rowena.
Sokol, who tried twice to commit suicide after being arrested for her murder, visited her one afternoon and shot her five times with a rifle in her front yard.
In 1990, Charles Schembri, 41, an unemployed truck driver from Melbourne, was jailed for the manslaughter of Generosa Bongcodin, 25, a hairdresser. Schembri had met Generosa three days after arriving in Manila in 1981 and married her within a month.
Two days before he choked her to death, Schembri sent her a newspaper cutting of the killing of Rowena Sokol on which he wrote words of approval.
Inquiry demand
The CPCA, founded in 1991 to monitor violent deaths and disappearances of Filipina women in Australia, is calling on the federal government to establish an inquiry into the deaths and disappearances. The organisation grew out of a core group founded in Melbourne in 1989 following the killings of three Filipinas in Victoria in less than eight months.
CPCA national coordinator Melba Marginson said the number of violent deaths and disappearances of Filipina women was exceptionally alarming. She said only a royal commission could investigate the contributory issues.
These issues [domestic violence and sex tours] we reckon would probably be very, very useful in terms of not only informing government bodies and non-government bodies but as well to change community attitudes towards Filipina women, she said.
The CPCA has the support of a group of feminist lawyers in Melbourne which is currently preparing a brief to be presented to the Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission.
Increasing problem
Marginson said that in most cases the women had been victims of domestic violence before the final tragedy struck.
Although recognising that most Filipina-Australian marriages are successful, she believes there is growing evidence that a disproportionately high percentage of Filipinas who come to Australia on sponsorship arrangements become the victims of domestic violence.
Of the estimated 80,000 Filipinos living in Australia, about 20,000 are married to Australian men, making them the ethnic group with the highest number of intercultural marriages in the country.
According to a 1992 report commissioned by the federal Department of Immigration, Local Government and Ethnic Affairs, social workers in South Australia, Victoria, Queensland and New South Wales are reporting increasing cases of domestic violence, depression and loneliness among Filipinas married to Australian men and a growing demand by these women for their services.
A 1988 South Australian Department for Community Welfare study found that Filipinas were disproportionately represented among people accessing women's shelters. One Sydney social worker reports that she has seen 20 Filipinas a month since 1988 with serious marriage problems, mainly domestic violence.
In one case, a 78-year old man forbade his 48-year-old wife from going out by herself, even to the extent of not allowing her to go to the outside toilet. She was also not allowed to wear underwear in case she ran away.
In another case in outback New South Wales, a Filipina woman was chained inside a caravan every day her husband went to work and was fed kangaroo meat and dog food.
Marginson said she hoped a federal government inquiry into the deaths and disappearances would cover the related issues of domestic violence, sex tours and immigration laws.
These are the three issues that always crop up whenever there are incidents that involve Filipina women, she said.
The CPCA is conducting a national workshop in Melbourne this month, funded by the Office of the Status of Women, to look at what needs to be done to protect and support Filipinas in violent relationships.
Melba Marginson said one of the issues to be discussed would be the need for a post-arrival orientation program for Filipino women, so that we can continue monitoring their situation when they arrive here.
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (478 bytes)
Posted: 3/8/2005 09:55 GMT+8
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By:
jaktoff
registered: 3/8/2005
member
Philippines
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Dugong: I met and married my now ex-wife in Egpyt. I assumed (wrongly) that she was trying to better her life by way of being an OFW- This was not so in my case. All she wanted was a meal ticket. When we came to the Philippines, she took up with another man (local) and became pregnant by him. I took care of the child, even knowing she was not mine. She is graduating from Montessori schoo; in Angeles and I paod for all those years. We are not all looking for servants/slaves.
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (393 bytes)
Posted: 3/8/2005 14:40 GMT+8
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By:
Dugong Chino
registered: 1/11/2003
member
Philippines
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jaktoff,
I do believe that you are sincere in your words and my heart goes to you. Unfortunately, a few rotten eggs spoil the whole bunch. The traffic is not one way!! If not the guy side, it's the gal side. Don't know which way to go anymore!
My post was simply a reminder to my fellow Pinays to be extra careful that's all, and to realize that the world out there is not that rosy.
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (1382 bytes)
Posted: 3/9/2005 01:51 GMT+8
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By:
Dugong Chino
registered: 1/11/2003
member
Philippines
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Philiperv:
I agree with you 100% that there are Filipinas who come from the cream of Philippine Society who are married to foreigners and are happily living with them. But I would also like for you to realize that the majority of my country"women" who are married to foreigners come from the bars and ghettos of the Philippines.
If you happen to be married to one (well educated, pretty, and rich), more power to you as my post was not all about you.
My post was all about those who are the opposite of what you've met and marry. Those country"women" who are too ignor@nt of the perils of the Western world!!..
This post is not about your world or the world of your wife (if she happens to come from the upper crust of Philippine society)..
Let me ask you this!!.. When you and your wife walks downtown hand in hand, do you at times feel some uncanny looks among people passing by? Let me tell you what those looks are actually saying; "They're saying 'I wonder where that foreigner got his girl, perhaps some bar or something'". But this is actually unfair to you because it's only "stereotype". But it's reality.
And please again, note my use of the words "SELDOM", 'NOT ALL", because what you're saying that NOT ALL OF THEM, is very true. If you happen to marry a well educated, pretty Filipina, and rich at that too, then this post wasn't meant for you.
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (4958 bytes)
Posted: 3/9/2005 07:33 GMT+8
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By:
debd2161
registered: 3/9/2005
member
United States
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Dugong Chino,
I hope you are not being a snob or harsh on women who marry other nationalities coz you have chinese blood in you... I had a cousin married to a rich chinese family... you cant hardly see their house... only the high walls... they are too good to be seen by the public... that is how high and mighty her in laws family felt... I betcha if they could buy a land in Mars... they would be the first customers... hehehehehe... That is my presumption... Not really sure if they would buy it for real... hehehehe..
Anyways, let's get back to business... I am a filipina married to a caucasian... and I am not a bar girl nor a GRO... I am a well educated person. I worked for National Steel Corporation for 15 years... filed an early retirement and went to the US. I dont brag having travelled a lot of places... and I dont look down on people's occupation or source of living... Give them a break DG!
I was once married to a filipino. And boy was I mistreated... and my life was miserable... until finally we separated... Filed annulment twice... got denied... My attorney's suggested... go abroad... go to the USA... that is your only hope for a better life... and so I did. I was not the only person with that problem too... A lot of the women had husbands like mine. They just varied in their specialties. I dont want to go to details about how bad they were mistreated...
Those women who had the same case as I did... seek a better life and came here to the USA, Canada, Ireland, etc. Now, they live happily with their caucasian husbands. They are not GRO or bar girls. They are well educated women who were once married to superior filipino husband.
Naturally, after hearing the good fortunes from happily married filipina abroad... these young ladies (some are even widows, spinsters) wants to seek the same fate. Who could blame them?? Treat the women well, so they wouldnt seek marriages with other nationalities. Show them you are better and best. Populationwise... I think there are more women than men too... So the guys shouldnt worry... there would still be enough left for them... Unless... they want two or three women at the same time... Then we have a problem! There would not be enough filipina for each filipino then.
I dont deny the facts that there are psychopaths every where... in the USA, and Philippines and others... I am glad that the Philippine Embassy is doing something about educating these fiancees and telling them what to expect and how to get help when they are in trouble. That is very important. They should be warned coz there are always bad people who pray on the innocent. Now if they are well educated, they would be able to know what to do.
In anything we do... we should always pray to God! He never forsakes us! God promises us safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings us to it, he will get us through it.
I for one was constantly praying... I have seen my future husband... he visited the Philippines twice... but still I prayed coz I wouldnt be sure if indeed he was a good as he showed he was in the Philippines... you could never tell with all the horror stories that they say about Americans... specially like what Dugong Chino and his likes are implying... But Thank God! He is the best husband I ever had... and i had two! (of course, I divorced the first one here in the USA)
And so far, I have met filipinas with caucasian husband and not one of them was mean to her... They all loved their wives. I havent even seen a caucasian being beaten by the husband. You see the news about the misfortune of some people... but I saw that too in the Philippines... But compared to my life in the Philippines and the friends with marriage problem. I say... I saw more of that in the Philippines... that here in the USA. And I live here in Texas... in Dallas to be specific... and you could see a church in every block... is that religious or what??
Truly, the crowd that I am in... I see a lot of faithful and loving husbands more than I did in the Philippines... Isnt that ironic??
So just be careful... my kababayan women... just be extra careful... But dont let Dugong Chino pull you down and make you feel low coz he met mostly the bar and GRO's who got married to foreigners... He must have a wider circle of friends than that...
There are also educated women that are married to caucasian... and who says these GRO's are not educated... they might not have a choice when they ended up doing what they did... Some people do it for survival reasons... As long as they ask God for forgiveness... and they are willing to change... give them a chance!!! Who are we to look down on them and judge them?? Its the LENT season! Let's not be too high and mighty and look down on the less fortunate ones! Let's walk side by side with them! Its not really hard... just get down that high chair... hehehe... Now was that bad?? Thank you!
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (421 bytes)
Posted: 3/9/2005 07:53 GMT+8
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Quote-reply
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By:
philipperv
registered: 10/10/2002
member
Ormoc, Philippines
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Quote: Dugong Chino posted on 3/8/2005 | 02:05
This is very very true. Once the Filipina wife adjusts to the new surroundings i.e. "freedom", "shopping", "CREDIT CARDS", "American Friends", etc. They become- guess what? - AMERICAN GIRLS!!!! And that's where the conflict begins.
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Now you are coming around to my way of thinking! However, not all Filipinas abroad do this. You are generalizing again.
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (5239 bytes)
Posted: 3/9/2005 13:34 GMT+8
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By:
arbie911
registered: 2/16/2005
member
Cebu City, Philippines
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dugong,
You are posting this msg to those filipinas who wanted to marry foreigners: well, here i am, one of those women u are addressing ur msg to. i am just awaiting for my visa packet to arrive. here are my comments to you;
1. Thank you for ur warning. Your clippings are pretty convincing since they are based on facts & no one can detest that. I'm pretty much sure before I was born this has been a hot issue -- filipina killed by her foreign born hub/bf. This happened globally, are happening globally, and will cont. to happen even when I’m gone in this world. would u mind to clip news also about filipinas being murdered by their own filipino hubs? for you not to be wrongly accused of being partial, u must give everyone a fair thought to ponder when they leave this forum. i don't read national/local newspapers everyday but everytime i do, there's no instance that i do not read a news of a wife being battered or murdered by her own filipino husband/live-in partner, and much worse, the husband also kill their offsprings (coz some thinks these children are not theirs). in really think there are more filipino couple murder cases than there are abroad. maybe bcoz, well let me quote this…"filipino hubs are basically insecure with their wives today than they were decades ago” filipinas have greatly evolved. we have learned to stand up for our rights, refused to take the role of the "martyr wife", and are now also earning & making names in their chose fields. with that evolution it is also not surprising to know of several women who are keeping extra marital affairs. some women have now the nerve to have several boyfriends in one time, having several lovers & one hub, etc. basically these women are not happy in their relationships so they go astray. most women who were killed by their hubs (both filipino & foreigner have underlying issues of unfaithfulness). and because of this, i don't judge the murderer right away. i read the details, and judge them basing on the facts presented. oftentimes the reasons of the murder are jealousy, unfounded suspicions, & drugs.
2. you said filipinas who marry foreigners are mostly bar girls -- perhaps in ur time. how old are u may i ask? coz in my time (i'm 28 yo) which is now, i know a lot of well-educated women who are now very much into interracial dating/marriage. don’t u know that a few actresses have chosen westerners over filipnos? Jolina Magdangal is engaged to be married to her foreign bf, G Toengi, is recently married to her westerner lover, Princess Punzalan is engaged also to a foreign national, etc., etc. Why is that so??? Maybe becoz we are just fed up with these Filipinos who refused to grow up. Most Filipinos are fond of ego tripping. Don't say I am inexperienced of how filipino husbands behave because I was married to one – a vast majority of filipino hubs were/are unfaithful to their wives at a certain point of their married lives. and mostly also do not want to stop philandering coz it makes them feel ssssoooooooo good!!! not only that, some will go to the limit of maximum deception by marrying their new women just to make them believe how much they wanted them, only to be devastated later on when they found out that he married 1-2-3 women before they did! yes, i am also a victim of full of bullsh--t, now i am undergoing a stressful & costly annulment coz of my a__hole filipino ex-hub. nevertheless, as said, not all filipinos are little boys in men's body coz i know several friends too with faithful husbands – and they are very much devoted to them.
3. And finally, I am not a bar girl, and so are the rest of my relatives who are now happily married to their foreign hubs after one failed marriage w/a filipino. We are all educated -- i am a copywriter, my aunt is a nurse, my grandmother is a head nurse in a hospital in new york, my other grandma is jeweler who finished her degree in a prestigious university here in PI, my cousin is a physical therapist, so on and so forth. We did not select our hubs coz of any interior motives, to be specific--- to uplift our social status becoz it already is . U also have to know that all my relatives were already in US before they got married to these westerners, and have remained married until now. We genuinely love our partners & are very happy to have found "real" men who are completely devoted to us. Although I am not a hyp*cr~te, I admit that it is indeed attractive to marry foreign men coz they are in a better position to support their families financially basing on the economic level of PI, and being a third world country . It may be on top of other filipinas' reasons of marrying foreigners, but certainly not on mine. Sure, not the world out there is as rosy as we think, and so is here in the Philippines and all throughout the world –
thanks again for the warning, u really do love your kind, i bet u are married to a very devoted filipina. well, stay happy... :-). to all filipina who wishes to marry (to both filipinos/foreign nationals), be careful & keep ur prayers close to your heart for we don’t know our fates. Good luck everyone & HAPPY WOMEN’s day!
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (457 bytes)
Posted: 3/9/2005 17:51 GMT+8
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By:
WildFlower
registered: 9/24/2003
member
Makati, Philippines
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For me...I choose to be married to a foreigner rather than be like those ambitious Filipina women who become mistresses (Kabit) to politicians or regular married Filipino men. You know why? Those mistresses of married Filipino men have the most disgusting position in life. Those women have no conscience at all. At least in western situation, they have divorce and nothing to worry for a Filipina.
I admire foreigners so much that I have to marry one.
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (1093 bytes)
Posted: 3/9/2005 18:58 GMT+8
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Quote-reply
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By:
philipperv
registered: 10/10/2002
member
Ormoc, Philippines
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To: Debd2161, Arbie911 and Wildflower,
Thank you very much for your excellent contributions to this discussion. However, I would like to caution you, as I did to Dugong Chino, about generalizing groups of people as they were all the same because you have a grudge against that group (i.e. Filipino men) because there are good and bad in every group.
This was, and continues to be, my main point.
I was married to a Filipina and saw her get "Americanized" and turn into a monster. However, she was from the "ghetto" as Dugong accurately described it and was uneducated. My current wife was abused by her drug-addicted estranged husband and was in and out of jail. He would rather raise his fighting cocks and sniff shabu than support his family.
However, I have seen educated and uneducated Filipino men work hard to support their families and educate their children. For example, our tricycle driver's mother is a 3rd degree cousin of Richard Gordon's mother yet he would rather lead a simple life than ask for favors from the Gordons. I have alot of respect for him for that.
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (313 bytes)
Posted: 3/10/2005 00:59 GMT+8
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By:
Dugong Chino
registered: 1/11/2003
member
Philippines
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arbie911,
Obviously, this post wasn't intended for you too!!! But thanks for heeding the warning.
Bar girls and GROs don't usually use computers and post in the internet, so I am not hoping on attracting any Filipinas from that crowd.
To all those who responded, please note that the warning is real!!
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (1162 bytes)
Posted: 3/10/2005 01:08 GMT+8
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Quote-reply
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By:
Dugong Chino
registered: 1/11/2003
member
Philippines
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Quote: debd2161 posted on 3/9/2005 | 07:33
Dugong Chino, I hope you are not being a snob or harsh on women who marry other nationalities coz you have chinese blood in you...
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Ha ha ha !! Actually I am not being harsh to my fellow Pinays, in fact I love my kababayans so much that I am warning them that "to some" marrying foreigners is not the "god send" solutions to their unhappiness with their Filipino husbands, etc. Nor is it the "made in Disneyland" marriage that their hoping it will be.
If the post does not apply to you, please pass it on to the next Pinay you know who might be entertaining the idea of marrying a foreigner.
I do agree that many Filipinas have found happiness with foreigners and I drink to that!! And I salute those Puti or Itim who have made my fellow Pinays very happy and contented (including their familites, of course!!).
I also salute the Hapons, and the Intsiks who have made Pinays very happy, just so I don't leave out certain nationalities.
But to those who might end up in a box on their return to PI, I still present my warning to you to take your time and evaluate your situation first.
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (416 bytes)
Posted: 3/10/2005 07:48 GMT+8
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Quote-reply
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By:
philipperv
registered: 10/10/2002
member
Ormoc, Philippines
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Quote: Dugong Chino posted on 3/10/2005 | 00:59
Bar girls and GROs don't usually use computers and post in the internet, so I am not hoping on attracting any Filipinas from that crowd.
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The "internet hustlers" I referred to before are mostly GROs. There are internet cafes in Angeles City set up just for GROs to hustle foreigners for cash over the net. Your ign*rance is still "shining" through.
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (4367 bytes)
Posted: 3/10/2005 08:21 GMT+8
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By:
arbie911
registered: 2/16/2005
member
Cebu City, Philippines
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Well, Dugong let me quote you the ff:
"Otherwise I am merely trying to call the attention of those Filipinas who are considering marrying foreigners for whatever reason (not for love I'm sure for about 90% of them), and to let them know that these things really happen!!"... YOU stated it very clear, DG. I AM ABSOLUTELY CONSIDERING MARRYING A FOREIGNER. U summoned me, why then exclude me, and the rest of the filipinas who are HAPPILY & GENUINELY engaged to their foreign fiances? Is it bcoz I am educated & could logically defend myself? Let’s cont. to the next quote coz that answers my question:
"bar girls and gros don't usually use computers and post in the internet, so i am not hoping on attracting any filipinas from that crowd. to all those who responded, please note that the warning is real!!"... then u posted ur warning to the wrong place. right, they do not usually use computers, so they will never see your post. for this "wake up" call to be effective, why don't u print all these clippings on a poster size paper, then paste it outside the bars near u --- or all the bars that you know. your concern will be absolutely appreciated by them. :=)
"it's not that i am starting a crusade against filipinas marrying foreigners, but someone has to make this part of a "wake up call"... we are not blind & deaf about these issues of violence suffered by our kababayans abroad, nor we need some red alert buttons or wake up calls on this matter coz this is not a new thing & this is happening all over the world, including pi, for heaven's sake, pls stop trying to scare these low level filipinas (gro/bar girls) let me think…yeah, you are addressing this msg to them coz you can persuade them easily to your way of thinking coz you think a lot of them are narrow minded, low IQ level, ignor@nt, & uneducated – but you have to take note that one does not have to be a gro or a bar girl to suffer these misfortunes -- educated or not, we have our own destinies to await – either we end up happy or miserable.
"Unfortunately, a few rotten eggs spoil the whole bunch. The traffic is not one way!! If not the guy side, it's the gal side. Don't know which way to go anymore!"... THAT IS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT! We don't know the real story behind these killings -- it could be that the hubs are really psychopaths, insecure, & saddists, AND it could also be that these women were are having extra marital affairs and their hubs found out abt this that's why they were brutally killed --- RAGE! that is really a scary thing, you have to run for your life fast!!!! Why don’t u pls check on the post of leewood, “filipinas scamming foreign men”, and see a better perspective, ok.
"marrying foreigners is not the "god send" solutions to their unhappiness with their filipino husbands, etc. nor is it the "made in disneyland" marriage that their hoping it will be" ... now, don't be ridiculous. u know very well that the "live happily after" thing happens only in fantasy stories. in ur age i assume that you know by now the realities of life in general! there is no such thing as perfect marriage, right man, right woman, or right relationship -- but you & your partner have to equally work hard to make the union last --- the couple has to dance the same rhythm otherwise it's gonna be a lousy performance. we did not find a solution to end our dilemmas w/our immature, egoistic, hedonistic filipino hubs by marrying a different kind -- you're a bizman i suppose. if you are then u know very well when a particular biz strategy is not working well for you, you must replace it. implement a new approach, and see if it works out. we did the same thing – we tried our own kind but we failed, we tried a different kind & alas! It is working for us!!! So now, we are very much glad we did coz we found somebody worthy of our love & devotion.
IF YOU ARE HAPPY W/UR LIFE NOW IN GENERAL & ESP W/THE WOMAN YOU MARRIED, CONSIDER YOURSELF BLESSED & I CONGRATULATE YOUR WOMAN TOO, FOR SHE FOUND A DEVOTED PARTNER IN YOU…and very much concern of the gen welfare of his fellowmen.
instead of warning, why don’T YOU OFFER PRAYERS OF GOOD FATE & FORTUNE TO US FILIPINAS WANTING TO MARRY OUR FOREIGN FIANCES, HMM? THANKS, THAT WILL BE GLADLY & HEARTILY APPRECIATED. STAY HAPPY DG :-0
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (225 bytes)
Posted: 3/10/2005 14:27 GMT+8
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By:
WildFlower
registered: 9/24/2003
member
Makati, Philippines
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Dugong Chino,
Actually, in the Philippines we have the CFO agency. Before a Filipina is allowed to get married to any foreigner, she will have to take a seminar. They really scare you to death but it is a matter of choice.
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (72 bytes)
Posted: 3/11/2005 02:44 GMT+8
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By:
Inspector1389
registered: 3/5/2005
member
Philippines
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There are times when marrying a Pinoy is not good for a Pinay either! :)
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (1512 bytes)
Posted: 3/11/2005 04:10 GMT+8
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By:
7739528
registered: 9/2/2004
member
Richmond Hill, Canada
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Hello to you Dugong Chino!
I do understand the reason and intention of your post. I have heard news that some Filipina women who were married to foreigners ended up in the casket in search for better lives -who can blame them? This is not only applicable to Filipina women but also to other women all over the world [Even American women are not exempted in this brutal end...and they are not even married to their partners]. I am going to stand for those who married the foreigners [regardless of their nationalities], died and shipped back to the Philippines. They probably had chosen to leave their country because their lives were miserable and hopeless;One of the reasons could be that they wanted to be loved and valued;It could be that they thought that the men whom they had met for 2 weeks or a month were the perfect men for themselves [love comes later]; or maybe they just happened to be in love. These are just some of the things that we take chances. Marriage is not pre-planned. It does not matter if we marry people from foreign countries or one of our kind.There will be obstacles...disagreements...misunderstandings....hardships...that is why it is important to have LOVE to begin with because during those times when we uncover and face the reality of who we really are at least we have LOVE that will help us accept and fogive each other. There are so many issues that couples have to face and deal with once they marry and live together...the key is COMMUNICATION. Until then..take care.
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (773 bytes)
Posted: 3/12/2005 01:37 GMT+8
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Quote-reply
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By:
Dugong Chino
registered: 1/11/2003
member
Philippines
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philipperv,
I am referring to this forum Philipperv and not the Cybercafe's where GROs from all over the Philippines use to post their biodata in "mail order bride" web sites such as Cherry Blossoms, etc. I don't think GROs and street-walkers posts to this forum to defend themselves!!..
In fact, I won't be surprised if you met quite a few from the Cybercafe's postings!!
At any rate, I am certain that I offended you in some ways because the truth really hurts.
My original posts was intended for those Pinays who "ignor@ntly" and "trustingly" believe that all white people are good. And for one who's been to the Philippines a long time, you know what I'm talking about. We have far too many "ladies" out there who are just too naive to know otherwise.
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re:Take a moment to read this; to all Pinays wanting to marry foreigners (170 bytes)
Posted: 3/12/2005 05:58 GMT+8
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Quote-reply
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By:
Dugong Chino
registered: 1/11/2003
member
Philippines
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debd2161,
Indeed I can see that you are a happily married person in Texas!! And for that I say cheers!!!.. Still my post is meant for those who may not be so lucky...
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